Link: http://www.MediumReadings.com

When I was little, I remember thinking of grown-ups as these all-knowing, infallible creatures. I don't think this is uncommon; on some level I think most kids believe their parents to be the keymasters to all of the mysteries of the universe - until they hit puberty, at least! I've thought a lot about this lately, since one of my nieces has recently become pregnant and her brother just had his first child.

In my practice it's become glaringly apparent that we never truly grow up - or, at least, our soul doesn't want to - not in the way it's forced to by our society.  Nevertheless, once we hit about 20 years old, our personality has been forged and we've become well inured to

the negative patterns our emotional scars have pushed us to. As we get older, we become masters: masters of deceit, masters of denial - ignoring those scars and their effects, believing we just need to "focus on the positive," which only serves to create more scars, which we then do our best to ignore. And then, when we hit our 30's, we begin to master "settling" (which we like to label "acceptance," because we like to feel that we're actually doing something positive by giving up on following our passions). All is well and good for a while, until one day - it may be at 33, it may be at 45 - but one day, we begin to master "numbness" - usually without even realizing it at first. From there, it's only a hop, skip and a jump to mastering "regret."

Follow up:

"How depressing!" I hear you cry...and you're right, it is. But it doesn't have to be. In my work, people tend to find me once they've hit the "numb" stage, which can often last for years. What's interesting is that, when someone is in this stage, they can't, for the life of them, understand why it happened; they'd done all of the things we're taught to do as kids: went to school, got married, found a job. The part they'd skipped - and, unfortunately, the part that most grown-ups skip when they're teaching their children how to live - is how to live a happy life...a fulfilled life. And the reason they forget to teach them this is because they have no idea how!

What parents know but don't think about is the fact that children tend to learn more from watching you, being with you and mimicking you than they learn from anything you say to them. If you're living a numb life, then your children will too - because that's what you're really teaching them. All the time I hear parents say, "I know, I know, I've been meaning to take the drawing/horseback riding/yoga/(insert other passion here) class, but I've just been too busy. Fair enough. But what you're teaching your children - and reinforcing for yourself - is that the things that you really enjoy - the things that fulfill you in life should take a back seat to all of the things that bring you stress. What you're saying is, "Happiness isn't as important as responsibility." And you are not alone in silently saying this. So often people know that this isn't right or healthy, but they're so afraid of what their family/friends/co-workers/colleagues/society will think of them if they loosen some of the restrictions in their life and begin being happy that they remain miserable. What they don't realize is that their family/friends/co-workers/colleagues/society feel...the exact...same...way. Of course you'd never know it because...humans are masters of deceit (refer to paragraph two). Very few people see our true suffering - often times we even hide it from ourselves.

It's amazing how someone's energy changes when you acknowledge for them how good they've become at tying themselves in knots trying to please everyone else around them; when they're given permission to just be happy, even if it means being a chef instead of an executive or a small business owner instead of a teacher. There is no more amazing sight than that of someone who has been set free...As corny as it may sound, it's like watching a caged bird fly in the wild for the first time. The human spirit is meant to find joy and fulfillment and hope; without those things, we feel lost. Structure is a good thing in moderation. But if it's not balanced with passion, it can become the illusory ropes that bind us to a life that we're not fully in control of. The kindest gift that you can give yourself and your loved ones is a life fully lived, which means taking chances on things you love just...because...you love them.