Link: http://www.mediumreadings.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=73&Itemid=68

I was looking through the site today and realized just how long it's been since I've given it any attention.  Normally I'm looking through my website almost every day; planning for articles, updating upcoming events, looking for ways to better convey ideas to clients, both current and potential.  But recent events have kept me quite busy over the last few months, distracting me from what is normally an all-consuming passion: my work.

Over the last several months, I've faced trials with friends, I've fallen deeply in love and I've said goodbye to my longtime companion, my 18 year old cat-daughter Miyam.  It's been both exhilarating and painful; hopeful and frustrating.  I'd be lying if I said that there haven't been times over the last 6 months that I've questioned whether everything I've learned from my guides was just a big lie; whether everything I've come to understand from my work has been one big misinterpretation.  But, as is its way, time has given me a greater perspective on my life over the last few months.

To begin, I'm the first to admit my faults.  It's not out of some great sense of honor (although integrity and honor are incredibly important to me); it's just that I know that, eventually, our faults have a way of showing themselves, whether we want them to or not.  We so often try to sugar-coat ourselves - to make ourselves appear less damaged, less frayed at the edges.  It's a shame that we do this to ourselves; pulling the wool over each others' eyes.  Eventually the other person will find out all of  the parts of your secret (but true) self and become disillusioned, realizing that they've been duped.  And you'll be left wondering why the relationship isn't as fulfilling as you'd hoped; why your partner is distracted; why you secretly wish for other, more passionate experiences.  I see people go through this cycle over and over again, never understanding why the pattern repeats itself in their lives.  What they don't realize is that, if they were honest about who they really are ("warts" and all!) in the beginning of a relationship,  not only would there be a deeper sense of intimacy, but they, themselves would feel, for possibly the first time in their lives, truly loved for who they are.

But I digress.  This is supposed to be about my experiences and insights over the last few months....Well, truth be told, tonight I'm tired in the best kind of way.  I'll soon be moving to Utah with the man I've waited (sometimes impatiently!) for my entire life.  Yesterday I drove 6 hours back to California after spending the week visiting and am just getting back on track from the 1 hour time difference.  It doesn't seem like a lot, but it makes a difference!  Every day I talk with people about relationships and have always counseled on the benefits of not settling, despite the fact that I, myself had not yet found my "one and only."  (Although, of course, I've had my share of relationships).  I knew this intrinsically, though, not only because of counsel from my guides, but because I, myself have lived it; making stops along the way to learn my lessons, but never staying because I knew they were not him. Now that I have found him, I can, without hesitation, say that, although waiting for the right person can at times be frustrating and lonely, once you've found him/her, the days before become a blur of life lived and lessons learned.